tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5772060590823593282024-02-08T02:14:09.624-08:00WildEyedYIPEE KAY YEAH!!!WildEyedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05569665090318201517noreply@blogger.comBlogger25125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577206059082359328.post-29156293903595439642012-04-07T11:55:00.003-07:002012-04-07T12:59:02.258-07:00Bizarre LoveHere I am, talking about her, no. Not her, the other her, the one that in my past. Silly isn't it? To remember after so many years. Here I was, being random, but it was more about thinking about her. I can't stop thinking about it, about her, argh, it was silly. It is silly. Its painfully funny, hurtfully funny, but even though how many times I think about it, how many times I twirl my mind about it. Its about how much pain it is. I feel that this is my due, my payment for my sins and transgressions. But at the end, did I regret it? I did not. It would have been a greater regret if I didn't. My inaction would have been a greater regret.<br /><br />I don't know, its just really annoying and at the same time curiously interesting. Like in the movies, what if I made the mistake? What if this was a 6 years mistake in the making? I'm not sure really. What is the right action? What is the right course. I always thought I know the answer, but every time I see her picture, argh I don't know. She's like the magnetic north, in every part of the world, I'd be ok with her, but if I am even near her, my compass goes bonkers and crazy (yup I know its the same, but its like that)<br /><br />But I know that it already happened. That crossroad has already been passed. I have made my decision, as much as she is enticing to me. I know she's not the one for me. I like her, I am infatuated for her and have loved her. But that's the thing, I have loved her. Its in the past and I am not going to bring her back into my life anymore after I close that door.<br /><br />Bizarre as it is that I am attracted to her, I got to find away to let her go.WildEyedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05569665090318201517noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577206059082359328.post-65618805782035615452011-09-26T04:21:00.000-07:002011-09-26T04:24:21.365-07:00AmnesiaThere's got to be a way to forget about you, as I end this day and say "I DO". There's got to be a way to get away from you, this way, I don't have to look behind when I thought it was you. There's got to be a way to forget this feeling. Because its in the past, the past that I am reeling. There's got to be a way lock it all away. Because your memory, is from which I got to get awayWildEyedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05569665090318201517noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577206059082359328.post-90465980782861881062010-10-26T16:00:00.000-07:002010-10-26T16:03:45.849-07:00RefresherOk so its been awhile. But I'm back and I'm back with much things to blog about. Well not really blog just to keep my mind a little bit sharper and less insane than it already is.<br /><br />For now I will quote something from Dream of the Endless<br /><br />"Your alive so you must live"WildEyedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05569665090318201517noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577206059082359328.post-75126478564574368252009-07-26T08:06:00.000-07:002009-07-26T08:07:08.654-07:00RetributionYou come and go as you please<br />But you left me hanging as you tease<br />For all you know is yours and fine<br />While I must set aside what is mine<br /><br />You come and go as you like<br />While my short comings you strike<br />Each one and each more, you smirk<br />As you throw more and more dirt<br /><br />You command and demand than care<br />And I'm not allowed to argue if I dare<br />You go now and belittle me<br />You just see, what you want to see<br /><br />You just over look on what I have<br />To pull it down to your level and laugh<br />Someday I'll build my wall and armor<br />And you will do as you please no moreWildEyedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05569665090318201517noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577206059082359328.post-51818412227711727272009-07-12T09:21:00.001-07:002009-07-26T07:52:39.180-07:002 months<div>I'm planning for someone special and although it is 2 months from now, I already plan that far ahaed just for her. What I'm planning is to compile a 2 months worth of work starting right now.</div><br /><div> </div><br /><div>"Sleep tight. July 13, 2009"</div><br /><div> </div><br /><div>As you sleep my Love, I dream awake of you, peacefully floating off to the dream world.<br /><br />July 26<br /><br />but I see as well the perils we come across and though my heart pounds restless upon our meeting I feel the ache of our arguments and ordeals that we must face. Even a potion of uncertainty from ingredients of a cup of anxiety, a dash of jealousy, a sprinkle of the unknown and pinch of frustration from wanting each other badly.<br /></div>WildEyedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05569665090318201517noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577206059082359328.post-80576405621935354252009-07-09T21:02:00.000-07:002009-07-09T21:14:42.399-07:00Beyond ReachRight now, all I hear is noise, all I can feel is tension and I am is a body full of stress in my eyes it can all be seen and felt but it is me right now. I don't expect anyone who can actually carry my load for it is given to me and to ask another is unfair as far as I'm concerned. But right now I shiver to all of its weight I feel cold right now. I feel alone. So I'm calling out, a little help from those who could give. I can not ask what can not be given so I ask what could be spared to me. I want to share this burden but I'm at a lost on how. It is too heavy, too private, too personal that I can't really be articulate on how to say it but I refuse to become out of reach, it is not too late for me, but I need help and right now I ask anyone who could..<br /><br />Help me, please....WildEyedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05569665090318201517noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577206059082359328.post-56979181179431635762009-05-12T16:31:00.000-07:002009-05-12T16:35:16.595-07:00DirectionFor now, Although some things are left unresolved it seems they will be soon and for all that it is worth, it is worthwhile knowing, believing and loving my special someone. Times goes by so fast when your late, in need of more time, and just having fun. But at the same time it goes cruelly in snail pace when your a prisoner of such. I do not have much time for now. Yet I will be able to go to whom I wanted to be. May my guard to one self prove stronger instead of weakerWildEyedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05569665090318201517noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577206059082359328.post-42795366324996025872009-04-08T08:08:00.000-07:002009-04-08T14:55:08.177-07:00Tired of being triedWith a heavy burden I take pity on my site, it seems that the only time I post here is to give off as much sadness and sorrow. I'm tired, damn it I'm really tired. I don't want to fight, I don't want to argue I don't want anything to do with fighting and arguing within this hectic world, even within my world, my life. I want to shed tears but I worry and fear that they have dried up and even if they didn't dry up I don't want another one to drop senselessly. I pray and ask for strength but it seems I'm still so fragile, within the twirls of up and down and all emotions. I am a prey of those I ask and trust so blindingly not to hurt me. But where am I right now, where am I, I am in the mercy of her hands that I feel so pathetic because it seems that she has the butterfly effect on me. A little flutter of her wings brings forth the hurricane in me. I don't want it anymore and I don't know if I should already give up and step away. I really don't know what to do anymore, I don't want to quit on her but she seems so keen and so easily ready to quit on me that every month I have to argue why we need to stay together again and again and again until I'm at ends wit. I need help I don't know what I should do. I feel so down I wish I know what I should do, and to have the resolve to do it.<br /><br />Am I taken for granted? What should I do? A couple of days of nothing but a rain of sweet words " I Love You" and "I miss you" then followed by a tornado of " I hate you, lets break up because I just want it". What the hell should I do about something like this?!<br /><br />I am lostWildEyedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05569665090318201517noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577206059082359328.post-3113431625510333672009-03-11T15:59:00.000-07:002009-03-11T16:01:59.387-07:00Dropping anvilsI breathe easy today as I know of the success that will come at hand, although this would be very short the battle was a long and struggling one. My heart could have shown its scars but I dare not bring about the list, and so:<br /><br />STATUS REPORT: SUCCESS! CONGRATULATIONS<br /><br />you can now get your 4 years worth of "paper"WildEyedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05569665090318201517noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577206059082359328.post-56589347600078347602009-01-09T09:02:00.000-08:002009-01-09T09:22:22.760-08:00CrushedAs I find myself dying slowly of weariness coming out the clash between two significant entity in my life, slowly I asked, "Why can't you two get along". You my reader, whoever you might be , who stumble upon this. I want you to know this pain I keep. But the pain is more of secret pain like all other closet filled pain within the warehouse of secrets I have, hence me having the burden to carry each and everything in it. Though, someday, it would inevitable come, haunt me down and kill me. I can only do is smile for all of us will die someday.<br /><br />And no, I am not being pessimistic, in any case it is an optimistic view still to be able to discern something that one might say as gruesome. But back to the story on mine.<br /><br />Boulders, I say! both of them:<br /><br />On one side I hold, someone, a special someone I hold so ever dear, so ever loved, my baby. I know her to feel the utmost sense of the word emotion and I will not hold it against her to be like that, for I always have shown affection and appreciation that she could feel. But on this night, that seems to take a blow upon her, and of course it does pain me too.<br /><br />On the other side, the apathetic parents that I have, which mostly revolves around my mother whom is old fashioned and strict, overly that suffocates me and I fear that one of these days I will have to stand up and voice out that I need my freedom to grow to become a better person, about the world. But I will not shelter her other half, my father whom has his own share of fault to which I say not only offended my special someone but me as well. His words, have left a trauma to her that I can not ease.<br /><br />So please, given such ordeal. If anyone can hear me out there please help me what to doWildEyedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05569665090318201517noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577206059082359328.post-91266362601292557652009-01-06T04:45:00.000-08:002009-01-06T05:10:52.759-08:00To whom I concern myself with Part 1Close your eyes so that I can whisper in your ears. The words that are ever so heart felt. All to whom are for you. To Whom I concern myself with. Can you move a little closer my Love? So that I could entangle my arms around you and hold you tight, then look your face, your lips, your eyes and every sight of you that I could ever have.WildEyedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05569665090318201517noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577206059082359328.post-51964819694340483592009-01-01T23:05:00.000-08:002009-01-01T23:06:08.496-08:00The 9th year of the second millenniumThe 9th year of the second millennium, who would have thought I would make it in an almost sane manner. Although at times my hopes are down while looking at the wild, dim horizon. I look forward upon it with my family, friends and of course, my special someone and with that I wish all that who would read this all the luck, love and life to live by this year and all the years to come.<br /><br />A fresh start, a new beginning, what more can anyone ask for but another chance. ^^WildEyedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05569665090318201517noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577206059082359328.post-26711276802052726962008-10-29T08:41:00.000-07:002008-10-29T08:49:34.577-07:00DecisionWhat will I decide, at times I feel on the top of the world and at times, I feel like the world is my burden. It's always about her. Always about what she feels and I feel like she don't even try to consider me and her mouth, God, here mouth will be of her undoing if she don't be prudent and get some little tact into herself. She seems not to see when and where to fight and where diplomacy should occur. I fear that all that she care about is herself. Even when at times it seems for other people in the end it seems it is still for her well being, so that she won't be criticize and won't be seen. Her subtle ways seems so annoying and greatly I don't like it. I don't know what to do with her.WildEyedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05569665090318201517noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577206059082359328.post-58908571302238537972008-07-19T10:10:00.000-07:002008-07-19T10:13:07.906-07:00Random Emotions<div style="text-align: justify; font-family: georgia; font-style: italic;">Daylight comes and passes by, and yet, I stay grounded unable to fly, alas time had its way on me, to look upon you and made me see. I guess what you mean to me, is more than I could ever show, and I'm afraid as each day pass, such feeling begun to grow, but I know deep inside, I am tainted, with the sins that I have committed, and fear grow too here and now, that again another one, in the list will be submitted, yet I can't walk away like I wanted to, and I also know, that I'm needing you. Now I realize whose saving who. Is it me or is it you. I've hold you close, without a word to say, i wish I can do this everyday. But the time will come when I have to go, and yet deep inside my feelings for you still grow. What pain is it, I will just given when I depart, or you must leave, I fear already that dreadful day, but I know it will come someday we will grieve. real life beckon so forcefully in me. Weighing me down before your eyes could see. and Yet, you still think highly of me. I blush as much as I could be. I want to be the heaven you have once fallen from, and put a smile on you instead of a frown. To hold you close in the middle of the night, to give you my warmth and spark of light. I want us to share the dreams that we had, and stick it out both good and bad. Yet I guess, we need to draw the line somewhere, We might fall too much, it would be so unfair. I confess its hard for me to stay inside the line, knowing your sweet words assure me to be fine. Yet what would happen if we fall too much. The pain will be great and more as such. Pray still that we would meet each other maybe on the next life, then again that's too much to ask, so pray then we live this one happily instead and that all our problems will be solved before we hit the bed.</div>WildEyedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05569665090318201517noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577206059082359328.post-77902483127581330492008-02-18T22:13:00.000-08:002008-02-18T22:22:27.350-08:00Concentrate!It seem that I can't concentrate anymore, maybe she is affecting me more than I should affect her or in this case the power of our influence. Maybe her influence in me is getting stronger and stronger that at times I'm actually copying her behavior. Yes, I'm starting to notice that and I need immediate actions if I'm really determine to graduating on time. There are so many things that I need to do but I have so little time left. Not to mention the fact that every time I try to do somethng I end up doing something else. I am so tempted on other things that it seems that I lose the sense of urgency inside of me. At times I am so frustrated in myself because I think I'm loosing control. But I cannot let it happen anymore. I just cannot! i have so many things to do. But at the same time I want to be with her. I don't know. But I guess I have to sacriface right now for our future. The two of us. It can not be help, me wanting to be with her but at the same time I have to make room for myself. If I don't do that I will lose myself and her maybe in the process. I have to be firm from now on. I need to see her less. I know, I'll try to make it up to her some way but for the time being, I guess I need to do what needs to be done.WildEyedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05569665090318201517noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577206059082359328.post-32014610983761145322007-12-05T21:09:00.000-08:002007-12-05T22:46:14.776-08:00FatiqueI sigh right now, of all the things that I carry in me. The things that I have to understand and the things that is out of my reach. But the irony of it is, for this is not a something but of someone. I am a mess right now, for it seems that the confussion is twirling around me and the chaos is consuming me and all that is around me. I feel the diziness from all of the concerns that tries to put me off guard and let me slip from my foothold. I am bruised and battered one way or another. Every step a takes seems to lead me to more trouble and pain. But even with a hundred gallons of blood and tears are shed, I would not falter. I cannot and would not do as such. My reasons out done everything else and I will keep what I promise, for I would not make another one to anyone any more. I haved decided already, that even with the fatique in me, wheather or not the second wind touches me. I will be there, beside whom I want to be. Only such wish of her, will I try to follow.WildEyedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05569665090318201517noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577206059082359328.post-32483786970811059982007-11-19T21:08:00.000-08:002007-12-05T22:50:58.982-08:00TiredI feel tired, irritated and exhausted right now. I guess I'm feeling that emptiness that creeps on me. I don't know, maybe she have forgotten again that I am a human being, that I too needs to be loved and cared for. I do love her, but in the process I find myself empty. I cannot ask her to love me, to care for me and give affection. For, all of it is always up to her. I wish I could say to her the line in grey's anatomy " Choose me, Pick Me, Love Me", but I cannot. I do not have the words in me to say that to her because I cannot demand that from anybody or anyone. I guess she is busy with all her things. I try to understand that but I too am busy but I always make time for her. I feel that my purpose is just to collect dust and catch each and every tears that ever dropped in this world. I feel drowning already. If that would be my purpose, then who would catch my tears as they fall. I fall all alone again. I was touched, hugged, and kissed. But I asked to be cared for. I miss that. I feel lifeless again. The only thing that made me feel that I live not only exist is of love and affection. I wish I have that. I feel tired so very tired already. Every breathe seems to be chore right now. I wish she would know this things without me telling her I wish that she knew so badly that I need want to shout till I cannot shout anymore. But I can't I wasn't given that priviledge anymore.WildEyedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05569665090318201517noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577206059082359328.post-43409397665427232242007-09-12T16:26:00.000-07:002007-10-15T00:11:48.249-07:00Difference<div>Right now, nothing would be the same. What could it have been that made me feel this way I can't say but things are so different now. I feel like I've matured and gone down all at the same time. What difference would be made after being here , in this situation? I guess the only needed difference is that I've learned something worth the pain that will be inflicted.<br /></div>WildEyedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05569665090318201517noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577206059082359328.post-45767920816215438342007-08-31T03:59:00.000-07:002007-08-31T04:21:39.380-07:00nothingI have a writer's block right now... so I got nothingWildEyedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05569665090318201517noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577206059082359328.post-7822527628700472122007-08-14T02:00:00.000-07:002007-08-14T02:15:29.344-07:00Head Ache<div align="justify">I have a major head ache today and I' m pissed off as well. So why am I ranting? Well WHY NOT!!! I do have the freedom you know and it doesn't mean I couldn't do the things I want on my own. I'm so burned out right now that I don't know if I ever wake up when I close my eyes...</div><div align="justify">I'm so tired already with this life that I'm a little bit on the edge. I know, I have been optimistic for most part of my life but It can't be help. Damn I feel so bent right now. I don't know how broken I am already and if I'll ever be the same again. Misery seems to take fond of me right now.</div>WildEyedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05569665090318201517noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577206059082359328.post-58074958723136511252007-08-01T22:15:00.000-07:002007-08-14T01:44:23.734-07:00Burst FireUnder the deep solace of the soul comes a fury of known<br />It was not of rage, not of fury nor of any that once shown<br />It wasn't shown before for it is new, a feeling that was foresaken<br />Disregarded for eons of thoughts, but now, it has awaken<br /><br /><br />The inevitable of drowning was growing near<br />being engulf was intensely felt by fear<br />Wild eyed come in to play<br />the darkness becomes the day<br /><br />A spark is enough to ignite the flame<br />But such life is unlike a game<br />Winners and losers is a blur<br />So many things can occur<br /><br />Under the setting sun<br />is a hidden man<br />unlike every one<br />he is a loaded gunWildEyedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05569665090318201517noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577206059082359328.post-30017985464338552522007-07-31T00:36:00.000-07:002007-08-14T01:59:03.274-07:00Note WorthyThe melody did suffice<br />as tears drop down the eyes<br />The song played on and on<br />from dusk till dawn<br /><br /><br />The rain did not end that day<br />nor for almost an eternity<br />but somehow fate made its way<br />with a choice of love or symphathy<br /><br /><br />How soon could be the future<br />how long was the past<br />coming form of the present<br />from the second's momentWildEyedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05569665090318201517noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577206059082359328.post-34978480810484859692007-07-10T00:19:00.000-07:002007-07-10T22:53:43.110-07:00If it was needed"Are we growing up or just going down?It's just a matter of time until we're all found outTake our tears, put them on iceCause I swear I'd burn this city down to show you the light"<br /><br />by<br /><br />FALL OUT BOY LYRICS"Sophomore Slump Or Comeback Of The Year"<br /><br /><br /><br />If it is needed, I'll break each and every standing wall in this city even in this country if that's what I have to do, just to see you. No, I'm not a fanatic nor am I obsesse with some one but if things or if circumstance needed it to be like this then, why hold back? I know, this may be an extreme action but given an extreme situation then what choice do I have.<br /><br /><br /><br />Yup, it still sounded like an extremist thing. I guess if I'm really like this, to compose something of a self destructive post I guess It can't be help. It does reflect me right now, I'm just another walking time bomb disguised as anybody yet like nobody, when the time comes as I explode, I still be nobody.<br /><br />This post seems so depressed I can't help but to think if I have the tendency of someone I hate. Well whatever.WildEyedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05569665090318201517noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577206059082359328.post-82297576603125210532007-06-21T23:18:00.000-07:002007-06-21T23:28:26.458-07:00Falling out as falloutboy<span class="std_font"> They call kids like us vicious and carved out of stone<br />But for what we've become, we just feel more alone<br />Always weigh what I've got against what I left<br />So progress report: NO! I'm not missing you to death<br /><br />I come here knowing this time at least at the very least of it all no one know that I have this account. Well, unless I go to stupid mode and blubber mouth this account as well to who knows.<br /><br />So what can I say? I guess what else but.. till next time<br /></span>WildEyedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05569665090318201517noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577206059082359328.post-5608413134783866642007-06-21T00:23:00.000-07:002007-06-21T00:25:17.582-07:00SplashWhat do you do, when it's your first time? You shiver. But what happens next?<br /><br />We will see.<br /><br />We will see.WildEyedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05569665090318201517noreply@blogger.com0