Monday, November 19, 2007
I feel tired, irritated and exhausted right now. I guess I'm feeling that emptiness that creeps on me. I don't know, maybe she have forgotten again that I am a human being, that I too needs to be loved and cared for. I do love her, but in the process I find myself empty. I cannot ask her to love me, to care for me and give affection. For, all of it is always up to her. I wish I could say to her the line in grey's anatomy " Choose me, Pick Me, Love Me", but I cannot. I do not have the words in me to say that to her because I cannot demand that from anybody or anyone. I guess she is busy with all her things. I try to understand that but I too am busy but I always make time for her. I feel that my purpose is just to collect dust and catch each and every tears that ever dropped in this world. I feel drowning already. If that would be my purpose, then who would catch my tears as they fall. I fall all alone again. I was touched, hugged, and kissed. But I asked to be cared for. I miss that. I feel lifeless again. The only thing that made me feel that I live not only exist is of love and affection. I wish I have that. I feel tired so very tired already. Every breathe seems to be chore right now. I wish she would know this things without me telling her I wish that she knew so badly that I need want to shout till I cannot shout anymore. But I can't I wasn't given that priviledge anymore.