Fatique

I sigh right now, of all the things that I carry in me. The things that I have to understand and the things that is out of my reach. But the irony of it is, for this is not a something but of someone. I am a mess right now, for it seems that the confussion is twirling around me and the chaos is consuming me and all that is around me. I feel the diziness from all of the concerns that tries to put me off guard and let me slip from my foothold. I am bruised and battered one way or another. Every step a takes seems to lead me to more trouble and pain. But even with a hundred gallons of blood and tears are shed, I would not falter. I cannot and would not do as such. My reasons out done everything else and I will keep what I promise, for I would not make another one to anyone any more. I haved decided already, that even with the fatique in me, wheather or not the second wind touches me. I will be there, beside whom I want to be. Only such wish of her, will I try to follow.

Tired

I feel tired, irritated and exhausted right now. I guess I'm feeling that emptiness that creeps on me. I don't know, maybe she have forgotten again that I am a human being, that I too needs to be loved and cared for. I do love her, but in the process I find myself empty. I cannot ask her to love me, to care for me and give affection. For, all of it is always up to her. I wish I could say to her the line in grey's anatomy " Choose me, Pick Me, Love Me", but I cannot. I do not have the words in me to say that to her because I cannot demand that from anybody or anyone. I guess she is busy with all her things. I try to understand that but I too am busy but I always make time for her. I feel that my purpose is just to collect dust and catch each and every tears that ever dropped in this world. I feel drowning already. If that would be my purpose, then who would catch my tears as they fall. I fall all alone again. I was touched, hugged, and kissed. But I asked to be cared for. I miss that. I feel lifeless again. The only thing that made me feel that I live not only exist is of love and affection. I wish I have that. I feel tired so very tired already. Every breathe seems to be chore right now. I wish she would know this things without me telling her I wish that she knew so badly that I need want to shout till I cannot shout anymore. But I can't I wasn't given that priviledge anymore.

Difference

Right now, nothing would be the same. What could it have been that made me feel this way I can't say but things are so different now. I feel like I've matured and gone down all at the same time. What difference would be made after being here , in this situation? I guess the only needed difference is that I've learned something worth the pain that will be inflicted.

nothing

I have a writer's block right now... so I got nothing

Head Ache

I have a major head ache today and I' m pissed off as well. So why am I ranting? Well WHY NOT!!! I do have the freedom you know and it doesn't mean I couldn't do the things I want on my own. I'm so burned out right now that I don't know if I ever wake up when I close my eyes...

I'm so tired already with this life that I'm a little bit on the edge. I know, I have been optimistic for most part of my life but It can't be help. Damn I feel so bent right now. I don't know how broken I am already and if I'll ever be the same again. Misery seems to take fond of me right now.

Burst Fire

Under the deep solace of the soul comes a fury of known
It was not of rage, not of fury nor of any that once shown
It wasn't shown before for it is new, a feeling that was foresaken
Disregarded for eons of thoughts, but now, it has awaken


The inevitable of drowning was growing near
being engulf was intensely felt by fear
Wild eyed come in to play
the darkness becomes the day

A spark is enough to ignite the flame
But such life is unlike a game
Winners and losers is a blur
So many things can occur

Under the setting sun
is a hidden man
unlike every one
he is a loaded gun

Note Worthy

The melody did suffice
as tears drop down the eyes
The song played on and on
from dusk till dawn


The rain did not end that day
nor for almost an eternity
but somehow fate made its way
with a choice of love or symphathy


How soon could be the future
how long was the past
coming form of the present
from the second's moment

If it was needed

"Are we growing up or just going down?It's just a matter of time until we're all found outTake our tears, put them on iceCause I swear I'd burn this city down to show you the light"

by

FALL OUT BOY LYRICS"Sophomore Slump Or Comeback Of The Year"



If it is needed, I'll break each and every standing wall in this city even in this country if that's what I have to do, just to see you. No, I'm not a fanatic nor am I obsesse with some one but if things or if circumstance needed it to be like this then, why hold back? I know, this may be an extreme action but given an extreme situation then what choice do I have.



Yup, it still sounded like an extremist thing. I guess if I'm really like this, to compose something of a self destructive post I guess It can't be help. It does reflect me right now, I'm just another walking time bomb disguised as anybody yet like nobody, when the time comes as I explode, I still be nobody.

This post seems so depressed I can't help but to think if I have the tendency of someone I hate. Well whatever.

Falling out as falloutboy

They call kids like us vicious and carved out of stone
But for what we've become, we just feel more alone
Always weigh what I've got against what I left
So progress report: NO! I'm not missing you to death

I come here knowing this time at least at the very least of it all no one know that I have this account. Well, unless I go to stupid mode and blubber mouth this account as well to who knows.

So what can I say? I guess what else but.. till next time

Splash

What do you do, when it's your first time? You shiver. But what happens next?

We will see.

We will see.