Saturday, April 7, 2012

Bizarre Love

Here I am, talking about her, no. Not her, the other her, the one that in my past. Silly isn't it? To remember after so many years. Here I was, being random, but it was more about thinking about her. I can't stop thinking about it, about her, argh, it was silly. It is silly. Its painfully funny, hurtfully funny, but even though how many times I think about it, how many times I twirl my mind about it. Its about how much pain it is. I feel that this is my due, my payment for my sins and transgressions. But at the end, did I regret it? I did not. It would have been a greater regret if I didn't. My inaction would have been a greater regret.

I don't know, its just really annoying and at the same time curiously interesting. Like in the movies, what if I made the mistake? What if this was a 6 years mistake in the making? I'm not sure really. What is the right action? What is the right course. I always thought I know the answer, but every time I see her picture, argh I don't know. She's like the magnetic north, in every part of the world, I'd be ok with her, but if I am even near her, my compass goes bonkers and crazy (yup I know its the same, but its like that)

But I know that it already happened. That crossroad has already been passed. I have made my decision, as much as she is enticing to me. I know she's not the one for me. I like her, I am infatuated for her and have loved her. But that's the thing, I have loved her. Its in the past and I am not going to bring her back into my life anymore after I close that door.

Bizarre as it is that I am attracted to her, I got to find away to let her go.

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